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December 11, 2003

Patents

The following was posted some time ago to a private mailing list, but I'm reposting it here (with one or two minor revisions) in response to Dunx's eloquent and sensible post. Eloquence and sensibleness were not foremost in my own mind when I composed what follows, and frankly I still can't be bothered with either. The whole patents situation fucks me the hell off, and as far as I'm concerned the only sensible response is rage.

To put this in context, my rant was prompted by a discussion of the Eolas patent on embeddable active content within a Web browser, which finally started to make trouble this year, but was already on the radar as a problem in 1998.

I'm surprised by this as well, but even if MS's lawyers couldn't make the case, I think most of us would agree that the Eolas patent is both egregious and disingenuous. The idea that one company should have exclusive rule over embedding active content in HTML pages by virtue of being the first dog to piss on that lamp-post is pretty fucking repugnant.

We've been over this debate here before, but I still say that intellectual property is a vexed and dishonourable area, and the territoriality of all those concerned is profoundly immoral and disgusting.

Microsoft (along with Apple, Adobe, Macromedia and all their odious cannibalistic ilk) have engaged in defensive IP protection lawsuits often enough themselves that they have to be considered fair game for this kind of crap. But that doesn't mean that the Eolas patent has any validity or should be allowed to compromise the intellectual development of our culture and species. All these hateful corporate motherfuckers are far too concerned with divvying up the software patents carcass to be concerned with anything of any actual value.

Software ideas do not happen in a vacuum. There is very little originality in software, and what there is owes so much to what has gone before -- and become part of the public domain -- that to try to claim ownership of it is profoundly evil and rude.

I am ambivalent about copyright in general -- as a creator I think I have some understanding of the ownership of one's creations, and I certainly believe that those who create something deserve the credit for doing so, and I do feel aggrieved when people use things of mine without acknowledgement -- but I also have a fervent belief in the need to set one's children free. In any case, patents go so far beyond copyright as to be, in my opinion, indefensible. They are not just pragmatically disastrous -- though they are certainly that -- but also ethically and aesthetically revolting. The very basis of them -- that by just saying something you should be able to control the ability of others to say anything related to it -- is offensive.

As Théoden says in Peter Jackson's version of The Two Towers: How did it come to this?

Software is a squillion-dollar business, but it is based on sick, sick notions. How many of you truly believe you have individually created something new and independent of what went before? Do you really think your inventions are so far beyond those of the people who taught you, and helped you, and answered your questions, and solved your problems, and shaped the foundations of what you are, that you deserve to be uniquely rewarded for them, that the whole space of ideas should be partitioned according to your pride?

If any of you do, I really don't want to know you. Fuck off.


Posted by matt at December 11, 2003 02:28 AM
Comments

When I finish work on my time machine I'm going to go back to before organisms developed lungs and patent the whole area of breathing related activities. When I come back I intend to aggressively enforce my patent, depriving all of the right to breath save those I deem worthy of being issued a free license to utilise my intellectual property. Rest assured that the idiots who seek to patent software will be near the top of the list for enforcement of my IP rights.

Posted by: Shyboy at December 11, 2003 11:50 AM

I'm sorry, I patented language and free expression in 6031 B.C., which puts you in breach of my intellectual property rights. A summons shall be shortly forthcoming.

Posted by: Stairs at December 11, 2003 12:31 PM

Unfortunately my breathing patent pre-dates your free expression patent by about 400 million years. As an example of language and free expression it is prior art. Who said you could breathe anyway?

Posted by: Shyboy at December 11, 2003 12:42 PM

To put a stop to this once and for all, I've travelled back to the dawn of time and patented patents.

Posted by: Shyboy at December 11, 2003 01:40 PM

Sorry, boys, but I hold the patents on both dawn and time, and did so before Shyboy patented patents. So you're both fucked.

Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at December 11, 2003 05:50 PM

OK. I've modified my machine to travel outside the bounds of time and space and have patented and copyrighted everything from there.

Posted by: Shyboy at December 11, 2003 06:10 PM

I would say that I've patented the bounds of time and space, but perhaps I should gracefully concede the field.

May I request permission, however, to keep the copyright on my own work?

Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at December 11, 2003 08:30 PM

Only if you wish to exercise your rights for the forces of good.

Posted by: Shyboy at December 11, 2003 08:39 PM

Could there ever be any doubt?

Posted by: matt at December 11, 2003 09:14 PM

Ask some of the guys I've dated.

Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at December 12, 2003 01:01 PM

Please supply contact details ;-)

Posted by: Shyboy at December 12, 2003 01:43 PM

I patented atoms. 1 0\/\/|\|20r2 񐮢 4#!!!

... dammit, is my inner geek showing again? Bad geek! Bad!

Posted by: ksquare at December 14, 2003 12:36 PM

Comments for this post are now closed, but feel free to email me if you have something interesting to say.