Outcome

Probably this was obvious to any dispassionate observer, but most of that stress was self-inflicted. Which isn't to suggest the things that fed into it weren't real -- they were, and are. Still, in the cold light of having, tentatively, declined Ian's company's offer, yesterday's ravings do come over a touch hysterical.

Ian was, naturally, very reasonable and understanding about it. A little disappointed perhaps, but not really put out. He has no more interest than I do in getting into a situation likely to put a lot of strain on our home life. I should have had a bit more faith.

Of course, I'm the only candidate immediately on hand; it'll take them awhile to find someone else, and I imagine they'd be happy for me to reconsider in meantime, but on balance that seems unlikely. The "destroy relationship" card trumps everything else, I think.

Time to get a damn job, though. Even something as horrible as they were offering is starting to look acceptable. If it had not been Ian's company, I think I would have agreed. Easy to say; for reasons already mentioned, no-one else is likely to offer such a thing.
Posted by matt at May 26, 2004 02:03 PM