Have I got a girl for you?
Wait till you meet her!
Have I got a girl for you, boy? Whoo boy!

Boy! To be in your shoes what I wouldn't give!
I mean: the freedom to go out and live!
And as for settling down and all that?
Marriage may be where it's been, but it's not where it's at!

Whaddaya like? You like coming home to a kiss?
Somebody with a smile at the door?
Whaddaya like? You like indescribable bliss?
Then whaddaya wanna get married for?

Whaddaya like? You like an excursion to Rome?
Suddenly taking off to explore?
Whaddaya like? You like having meals cooked at home?
Then whaddaya wanna get married for?
Whaddaya wanna get married for?

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Who sends anniversary wishes?
Who helps with the dishes?
And never says "Boo!"?

Who changes subject on cue?
Who cheers us up when we're blue?
Who is a flirt, but never a threat?
Reminds us of our birthdays, which we always forget?
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get...
How would we ever get...
How would we ever get...
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

Just what you usually do!

Right!

Poor baby!
All alone!
Throw a lonely dog a bone
It's still a bone
We're the only tenderness he's ever known
Poor baby.

Two's impossible
Two is gloomy
Give another number to me...

Life sucks
People always hate a loser
And they hate lame ducks
Screw me, and shucks!

That's it, that's the ballgame
I don't smoke, don't do drugs
And then comes the bad news
I quit, that's the ballgame
It's the chink in the armour
The shit in the karma
The blues.

Can I keep my cool despite the urge to fall apart?
How should I start?
I would cry if I could
But it does no damn good
To explain I'm a man in my prime
You gotta die some time.

Not a day goes by
Not a blesséd day
But you somewhere come into my life
And you don't go away
And I have to say
If you do I'll die
I'll die day after day after day after day
After day after day after day after day after day
Till the days go by...

What would I do
If I had not met you?
Who would I blame my life on?
Once I was told that all men get what they deserve
Who the hell then threw this curve?
There are no answers
But who would I be
If you had not been my friend?

Where would I be
If I had not loved you?
How would I know what love is?
God only knows, too soon I'll remember your faults
Meanwhile, though, it's tears and schmaltz
There are no answers, but
What would I do
If you had not been my friend?

What more can I say?
How am I to face tomorrow
After being screwed out of today?
Tell me: what's in store?
Yes, I'd beg, or steal, or borrow
If I could hold you for one hour more

What would I do
If I had not seen you?
Who would I feast my eyes on?
Once I was told that good men get better with age
We're just gonna skip that stage
There are no answers, but
What would I do
If you had not been my friend?

Homosexuals
Women with children
Short insomniacs
We're a teeny tiny band

Lovers come and lovers go
Lovers live and die fortissimo
This is where we take a stand:
Welcome to Falsettoland.