Fashion

Inexplicably hot for such a cold night, Aglaia lay knotted in sheets, sweating and fretting. The man beside her snored gently, radiating warmth. His semen was still sticky between her thighs, but she couldn't remember his name.

They all start to blur after awhile.

Events from the evening fought back and forth in her mind, memories jostling for primacy; those with least value somehow winning out every time. Surely she hadn't always dwelt like this? Tiny mistakes, misdemeanours, infelicities and embarrassments loomed large in her insomniac imagination. In the long dark night of her soul. How long was that night, exactly? She couldn't remember. A century? Two?

They all start to blur after awhile.

She remembered the beginning clearly enough. She tried not to, but she did. A squabble between siblings, a wilful departure. She knew, even at the time, that it was a betrayal; but the time was long past for all three of them. They were just getting wound tighter and tighter, ripping and rewrapping the same old songs. Something had to give, and that something turned out to be her.

Not a day passed that she didn't miss them. That she didn't wish things had taken a different path. But she'd done what she had to do, and she had no regrets. Or at least put a lot of effort into pretending to have no regrets. She'd done the right thing.

Sometimes even the right thing is wrong.

The evening, then. Ursula's launchpad to international stardom. Clothes and flashbulbs, music and schmoozing. Aglaia was there as an observer only, to watch her protegé go into orbit. It was a seething vortex of glamour: even the ugly people were gorgeous. Where else should Aglaia be at such a time?

And there was Euphrosyne.

"Hey sis."

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I guess you could. But you know better."

"I do."

"So?"

"I'm here to see the sights. To keep a finger on the pulse of beauty."

Aglaia raised a sardonic eyebrow.

"Some of us still feel the need, occasionally."

"Yes. I guess you do."

There was a long pause. Not awkward, exactly, but, well, awkward.

"So, really: is this it?" Euphrosyne made no attempt to disguise her disdain.

"Is this what? Zeus, I fucking hate the way you do that."

"I'm just a little bit disappointed, that's all. I'm not trying to pick a fight."

"Good. Don't."

"I leave that up to Thalia."

The sick feeling in the pit of Aglaia's stomach at that instant was one of the things that swirled around in her sleepless thoughts later on. Her youngest sister was a chasm of fire and turmoil that she tried very hard to forget being on the brink of; successfully, most of the time.

"Is she here?"

"Of course not."

"But you've seen her?"

"Yes. We meet up quite often. Occasionally we even talk about you."

Sometimes Aglaia missed Thalia so much it felt like an icicle in her heart. She looked around at the glitz and futility and wished only for the soft touch of forgiveness.

"What do you say?"

Euphrosyne waved the question away.

"Aggie! Darling! You must meet Enrique." Ursula always had some prettyboy in tow. "Isn't he simply the most gorgeous creature you've ever seen?" A dispassionate glance took in everything there would ever be to know about this vacuous youth; Aglaia nodded politely, and smiled. "Aggie here is my muse."

Cringing, Aglaia looked around for her sister, but she was nowhere to be seen. Stung by her casual departure, Aglaia was nonetheless glad to be spared the embarrassment of Euphrosyne witnessing this moment.

"Isn't Enrique going to be marvellous in my suits? Look at his aura. So manly! He exudes sex from every pore." The boy looked at his feet, sheepishly delighted by this flattery from the charismatic designer. Aglaia felt a pang of pity; of guilt. He would have his fifteen minutes, but no longer. Then he'd be gone, like the others, like the last -- what was his name? Xander? -- as if into thin air. Fashion is a fickle mistress. She took a deep breath; closed her eyes; and jumped.

"He'll look like a dream, darling. The toast of the town."

And then she woke up.
Posted by matt at March 16, 2005 11:42 PM