Birthday 2

Lunch was at the Oxo Tower Restaurant; dinner at Searcy's. Both venues I suspect Max would be sniffy about. By coincidence, Max turned up at the Laurie Anderson show in between those meals; a show I went to with Ian, Devan and Antonio. Very much in the mould of Happiness, though with less variety, I thought. She's a mesmerising performer, but seemed a little one-note this time, at least during the talky parts. I enjoyed some of it very much, and all of it as least a bit, and generally had a good time. My companions were more enthusiastic; Max (I got the impression; I'm sure he'll pipe up if I misrepresent him) slightly less.

Earlier, I received assorted birthday wishes from you lot; was remotely sung to by Alastair; spoke to father, mother, sister; got a bizarre Flash (but I won't hold that against it, just this once) web birthday card and some shiny discarded roofing copper; took delivery of some rather lovely flowers pictured earlier.

It was, on the whole, a nice day, although there were also moments of sadness; as always, these days. For some reason, at some point in the afternoon, I found myself with tears in my eyes thinking of Aragorn's speech outside the Black Gate of Mordor in the film of The Return of the King:

No, I don't really know either.

Back to work today, of course. Busy, complicated, difficult. At one point in the afternoon I found myself signing a birthday card for someone, thinking, hang on... I've been at APT for 9 months now, and in that time I've signed a lot of cards. The company is assiduous in carding everyone, new kids, old lags, no questions asked. Everyone.

Except me.

Now I know, really, that it was just an administrative mischance. A slip-up. (This would never have happened in Sal's day.) But still, it's hard not to think, momentarily, that, well, everyone hates me. That the reason there was no card is because, when it did the rounds, not a single person could be found who was even willing to scratch an insincere greeting into it.

Such are the workings of the paranoid mind.
Posted by matt at May 19, 2005 08:02 PM