Random 5

Dressed in brocade pyjama bottoms and trick top hat, shirtless to expose tattooed torso and the bullethole scars from my time as a Sardinian partisan, I met the spotlight's merciless gaze and fanned a deck of marked cards for my eager audience. They wanted to be captivated, and were three-quarters of the way there before I began, but when I reached for the spell to bring them across that final stretch... I came up blank.

In the awkward silence that followed, with expectation just starting to turn to disillusion and a few people shifting in their threadbare seats, what I was really thinking about was a confrontation some hours before and the whereabouts, presently unknown, of my beautiful assistant: you.

For God's sake, woman, does the dress really matter so? Then wear it and be done! It can't be reason enough to break up our legendary partnership, not after all these years. Who am I to saw in half if not you?

An air of faint hostility became perceptible as I stood transfixed. Someone cleared his throat; a card -- the two of diamonds -- slipped from my fingers and tumbled to the limelit floor.

"'E's lorst 'is marbles, Doris, in'e?"

"Come on Mandrake, show us your abracadabra!"

"Ladies and gentlemen..." What could I, should I, say? The sweat was bright on my painted forehead, my throat tight.

And then, into that ghastly caesura, out you stepped, easy and graceful as a slender loris, not in the dress. You mugged to the cheap seats, stooped to pick up the dropped deuce, presented it to me with a flourish.

"Was this your card, sir?"

I played it up, of course. "Why, yes! The two of diamonds! How on Earth did you do that? It's amazing!"

"Magic, sir, pure and simple. How else?"

How else indeed?

And so, reaffirmed, I got out my saw.
Posted by matt at September 16, 2005 06:30 PM