Derivatives 101: 1

What could be simpler?

I don't know how things stand in your neck of the woods, but around here cinema tickets generally retail for more than the tawdry puffed cardboard snacks they sell in the kiosk, though the latter no doubt provide a higher profit margin. So, over and above being a fun night out in delightful company, this looks like a pretty good deal for you.

Life, however, is full of uncertainty. Wouldn't things be dull otherwise?

Perhaps I have friends on the inside who'll get me the tickets cheap. Perhaps I know that the price of popcorn is going to go through the roof this weekend. Perhaps I'm just a greedy bastard and plan to eat my own weight in sugary snacks at your expense.

Perhaps I'll wind up out of pocket. Perhaps you will. If the movie is good, who the fuck cares?

So, the first thing to note about the whole situation is that there may be other factors involved than just coughing up the cold hard cash. In trading this particular over-the-counter contract, my primary purpose may not be to make money off you, and yours may not be to make money off me (though I've seen that glint in your eye and, in the words of one of Ford Prefect's many incarnations, I trust you about as far as I could comfortably spit out a rat). There's an outside chance, for instance, that I really want to see the film and hate going to the pictures alone.

All the same, if we put on our most vicious and grasping hats -- in some imaginary world where millinery has vices and limbs with which to grasp for them -- we can probably see there's a potential imbalance here. Maybe someone can make a quick buck. Or at least thinks they can.

Maybe I don't like popcorn, or any dreamhouse nibbles come to that. But I know a man who does. Maybe I'll let him go to the flicks with you in my place. He'll pay for the tickets, you'll feed his snackfood habit, and I'll spend the evening counting the kickback. I didn't want to see that movie anyway.

Isn't this fun?
Posted by matt at January 14, 2006 02:17 AM