Random 18

Zadoc: What is it?
Aaron: I've no idea.
Zadoc: It looks...
Aaron: Yes, it does, doesn't it?
Zadoc: Do you think we should...
Aaron: Open it?
Zadoc: Yes.
Aaron: No.
Zadoc: No?
Aaron: No.
Zadoc: Oh.

Zadoc: Are you expecting anything?
Aaron: Not like this. Are you?
Zadoc: Certainly not! What are you insinuating?
Aaron: It was simply an innocent question.
Zadoc: Oh. Yes, of course it was. Um. Sorry.
Aaron: That's alright.
Zadoc: It's just a little disconcerting, that's all.
Aaron: Yes.
Zadoc: It's not the sort of thing you see every day.
Aaron: How true.
Zadoc: Not that we're exactly seeing it now.
Aaron: No.
Zadoc: Are you sure we shouldn't open it?
Aaron: Aren't you?
Zadoc: I'm seldom sure of anything anymore.
Aaron: So you think we should open it?
Zadoc: I didn't say that.
Aaron: What if it -- you know -- goes off?
Zadoc: That would be bad.
Aaron: To say the least.
Zadoc: But who's to say it's not going to do that anyway?
Aaron: You could say that about anything.
Zadoc: A loaf of bread?
Aaron: An avocado?
Zadoc: A library book.
Aaron: For example.
Zadoc: When did you last see a library book go off?
Aaron: It could happen.
Zadoc: Have you ever heard of such a thing?
Aaron: Not as such.
Zadoc: Well there you go.
Aaron: It was a silly example.
Zadoc: We should open it.
Aaron: No!
Zadoc: It's not going to go off.
Aaron: How can you possibly be sure?
Zadoc: I can't. But why should it?
Aaron: Because that's what these things do.
Zadoc: According to whom?
Aaron: Everyone says so.
Zadoc: They do?
Aaron: Of course they do.
Zadoc: And how does everyone know?
Aaron: I don't know, the usual way I suppose.
Zadoc: Which is?
Aaron: Oh, one person tells another, who tells another.
Zadoc: And how does the first person know?
Aaron: I suppose he must have seen one go off.
Zadoc: In that case it can't be so bad after all. If people can watch it and then tell stories afterward.
Aaron: He could have been terribly wounded. Just gasped out the story before he died.
Zadoc: Now who's being silly?
Aaron: Look, I don't know, alright? I just know we shouldn't open it. Something terrible will happen if we do.
Zadoc: Okay, okay. We won't open it.
Aaron: Good. Thank you.

Zadoc: Do we just sit here and look at it, then?
Aaron: We should tell someone.
Zadoc: Tell who?
Aaron: The police?
Zadoc: The fire brigade?
Aaron: MI5?
Zadoc: Be serious.

Aaron: Is there anything written on it?
Zadoc: No.
Aaron: Well where did it come from?
Zadoc: I've no idea.
Aaron: These things don't just appear out of the blue.
Zadoc: This one has.
Aaron: It must have come from somewhere.
Zadoc: Yes.
Aaron: Did you see it arrive?
Zadoc: No.
Aaron: Neither did I.
Zadoc: Well then.
Aaron: Well then what?
Zadoc: Well then, it appeared out of the blue.
Aaron: No it didn't, we just didn't see it.
Zadoc: It's the same difference.
Aaron: Nonsense.
Zadoc: Nonsense?
Aaron: You're positing an Uncaused Cause.
Zadoc: Oh come on. You're the one who appealed to an unspecified they.
Aaron: Unspecified but not intangible. Not some airy supernatural creator.
Zadoc: I never used the word airy.
Aaron: Oh shut up.

Zadoc: Why don't we just open it?
Aaron: I don't know.
Zadoc: It's not as if it would be difficult. There's just a bit of brown paper and string.
Aaron: Difficulty is hardly the point.
Zadoc: Well, what is the point?
Aaron: Beats me.
Zadoc: What's wrong with wanting know what's inside?
Aaron: Nothing.
Zadoc: Curiosity is perfectly natural.
Aaron: It killed the cat.
Zadoc: Now you're appealing to them again. Which cat? Did anyone meet this cat? See it? Stroke it? Did anyone know it to be curious? Does anyone remember how it died?
Aaron: It's just an expression.
Zadoc: An expression of timidity.
Aaron: You wouldn't say that if you were the dead cat.
Zadoc: I wouldn't say anything if I were the dead cat! I'd be dead! And cats can't talk!
Aaron: Exactly.
Zadoc: Exactly what?
Aaron: Timid people can have this kind of discussion, curious cats can't.
Zadoc: Right now I think I'd be better off as a cat.
Aaron: I'd be better off too. At least I wouldn't have to put up with your prattling.
Zadoc: Is that supposed to quell my curiosity?
Aaron: How about I have sex with you if we don't open it?

Zadoc: Okay.

Posted by matt at May 1, 2006 11:08 PM