September 17, 2003
Gauntlet
A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that I had three new entries in mind. This is still, more or less, true.One of those is currently on hold because there's some things I need for it that I just can't find. I know I had them, I thought I knew where I put them, they just aren't there. Presumably I moved them somewhere for safekeeping, with the result that I'll have to completely dismantle the entire flat and probably not find them even then. I'm sure you're familiar with that cycle you get into in these situations, where you keep going back and looking in places you've tried before because you know that's where the thing you've lost should be and must have overlooked it the last twenty times; well I've been doing that now for about two weeks and it's really beginning to get annoying.
The second post is on hold on account of being too depressing. Possibly not depressing in itself, and hopefully not to read, but just depressing to think about and write. Which could be a sign that I should address the issue face on, or that I should brush it under the carpet. For the moment, I'm choosing to let uneasily-sleeping dogs lie, and in any case writing a blog entry about it isn't going to solve anything, so why bother?
Which leaves number three, so I suppose here it is. This one is nice and pointless and silly, and who can argue with that? Also it's not about me, which must surely be a relief to one and all. Yep, that's right, it's time for another little literary challenge.
Now, it must be said that this isn't really the most appropriate venue for such things, and there's no reason to suppose it won't just fall flat. On the other hand, it looks like Max and Faustus are in regular need of displacement activities to keep them from all the stuff they should really be doing, and, come to think of it, so am I. So here goes.
Despite flirting for a few moments with something more high-falutin' -- an Onegin stanza, say, or villanelle -- I've decided to stick with low comic verse on the grounds that it's easier and more fun, so let's have a go at that quintessential comic form, the limerick.
This example, which Dan has seen before, is one of my favourites ever. It comes from a game on the original York MC server, each line written by a different different person:
Was found to be awfully clever
At doing long sums
On its fingers and thumbs
Or pincers or claws or whatever.
Over to you, kids.
Oh, and while I'm here, there's yet another new photo album entry. I hope you can survive the excitement.
Posted by matt at September 17, 2003 05:12 PM
In the bath, washing off his smetanka,
Felt smug at how keenly
He'd learned to live cleanly.
It was then that he noticed the chancre. Posted by: Max at September 17, 2003 07:11 PM
Found throughout that his cries went unheeded.
Good sirs, do not scoff,
For the parts they cut off
Were—alas!—all the ones that he needed. Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at September 18, 2003 01:18 AM
Shyboy, Matt, Max, and Dan
Keep this thing going, and
All to the good:
While I am dactyling
Masturbatorily,
I can't be doing the
Work that I should. The second is practically the dictionary definition of masturbatory. Einmal geschah es, daß
Faustus, der Blogger war,
Restait assied à sa
Table et pensait:
"Why should I do this so
Unmacaronically?"
Chi deve leggerlo
Dice: "Oy, vey." Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at September 18, 2003 01:25 AM
Confessed the wank fantasies he
Had clearly found through
Touch-typing: e u
n u c h dot o r g. Posted by: Max at September 18, 2003 05:14 PM
Sought his powers deductive to tax.
His target uncouth
Soon admitted the truth,
As he melted, in clumps, like cheap wax. (I know that's pretty bad, but the electricians could turn my power off at any moment so I daren't take the time to make it better.) Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at September 18, 2003 06:22 PM
Whose kindness in mien, unintentional
They said "He's real queer"
I said, "Nowhere near!"
"He's just oh-so-blatantly homosexual!" Posted by: Stairs at September 18, 2003 09:20 PM
Keep calm, if you can, and keep busy.
Let your spirits be buoyed
As you strive to avoid
The predations of hurricane Izzy. Meanwhile, Max should acquire some perspective,
Before sneering at verse that's effective
At raising a smile
Who cares if it's worthwhile?
Its faults scarcely deserve his invective. As for Alastair, that homosexual
Ever game for a cod-intellectual
Challenge in prose or verse,
May fare better or worse,
But has never been called ineffectual. OK, I admit there's the whiff of desperation about some of those, but it's late and I'm drunk and fuck you. Wanna make something of it? Posted by: matt at September 19, 2003 12:41 AM
