January 11, 2004
Masquerade
The afternoon is a slow motion train wreck, already out of control, unstoppable. No injuries yet, no irreparable damage, but it's only a matter of time, a matter of Newtonian mechanics. It's inevitable.I am not who I pretend to be.
Everything you think you know about me is a mask. Life has taught me nothing except how to hide, to run away. A lesson well learned, I might add.
I said:
anything as mediated as a blog has to be regarded as fiction
but that was misdirection. It's the life that is fiction. The blog is just a blurb on the back cover.
I have work to do today, social obligations to fulfill. Even stories to write, if only I could face them. I should be thankful for the extra time, but I'm not. Not at all.
It wasn't even an arrangement, barely a vague thought, casually forgotten. "Just proceed with your day." No kind of let down. No cause for complaint. The terms of our flirtation do not admit the possibility of hurt.
But it is there.
I am not who I pretend to be. Neither are you.
Comments
Inevitability is intrinsically fatal, but not entirely reliable. Tell me, then, did you die? :)
Posted by: Stairs at January 11, 2004 11:46 PM
Not this time. But it comes to us all eventually.
Posted by: matt at January 12, 2004 12:08 AM
Precedent is no proof. I intend to avoid it myself.
Posted by: Max at January 12, 2004 09:08 AM
Death is for fools and martyrs. I am neither and fail to see the point of succumbing.
Posted by: ksquare at January 12, 2004 10:27 AM
[Max, ksquare] An admirable ambition. I hope to see you achieve it :)
Posted by: matt at January 12, 2004 12:34 PM
"John had decided not to die. And to his unsurprise, he didn't. 'Life,' he decided, 'Was merely a question of willpower and a good bowl of Wheaties in the morning.' And so it was."
I hope so too. :)
Posted by: ksquare at January 12, 2004 03:43 PM
meeting a reader for the first time, i eventually ask, "was i what you expected?" they usually just nod, but of course, they have no idea.
a blog really is just a blurb on the back cover.
Posted by: kurt at January 12, 2004 05:43 PM
I suspect the answer to the question posed in the final paragraph of this post is "Darth Vader."
Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at January 14, 2004 05:31 AM
Oh yeah? The end of Return of the Jedi suggests otherwise, I'd say.
Posted by: matt at January 14, 2004 10:00 AM
Hmm. Well, perhaps the Emperor? Or those revolting Ewoks?
Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at January 14, 2004 06:09 PM
Well, let's see: the Ewoks like to pretend they're cute, fluffy little teddy bears, but in truth are the ultimate incarnation of evil, as I'm sure any Star Wars fan will attest.
Meanwhile, the Emperor pretends to be the ultimate incarnation of evil, but seeing as that position's already taken, he's obviously a big fake too. I suppose he could be an Ewok in disguise, but if so he's *in disguise*. QED.
Applying this evidently universal principle to Jar-Jar is left as an exercise for the reader :)
Posted by: matt at January 14, 2004 06:43 PM
Comments for this post are now closed, but feel free to email me if you have something interesting to say.
