October 14, 2004
Traitor
Well, it's two steps forward and one step back around here, but I guess that's a kind of progress. Some of the stresses that have been driving me to raving, hysterical despair lately have lessened, and I do in fact feel a little better.I was not, it turns out, quite right about the people I love being unable to help me. There are comforts to be had from that quarter if I let myself; if I let them. Some of my friends have the patience of saints.
On the other hand, my innate talent for fucking things up with an ill-chosen word remains undimmed. No sooner do I start to regain a little of my composure than I go and betray someone who deserves better.
I hope he will forgive me.
It's a bad time, but I'm sure you're all sick of hearing that excuse for my shoddy behaviour by now. I know I am.
Posted by matt at October 14, 2004 08:32 PM
Comments
Yes, well, you and me both, ducks.
If my relationship skills have improved at all over the last three years it is in learning not to say anything untoward when I am tired or stressed or annoyed. I do not always succeed in this, which can be painful.
I'm sorry to hear you're having the same problem.
Posted by: Dunx at October 14, 2004 11:29 PM
Saying something untoward is always a problem, whatever state you're in. The tragedy is that I often seem do it when things are starting to look up, as if I'm trying to sabotage that process.
Perhaps I just like being miserable.
(No, I really don't.)
Posted by: matt at October 15, 2004 12:10 AM
No, I don't think you do either, and as with all things, it may just be a matter of perspective. I'm sure your friend would forgive you almost anything, within reason, especially if the matter is more trivial to them than it is to you.
Oh hey, it's Friday! Lalala! :)
Posted by: Stairs at October 15, 2004 09:25 AM
Comments for this post are now closed, but feel free to email me if you have something interesting to say.
