Random 1

I was distracted from my task by the sound of eighteen dogs barking in unison. I think they were assaying I'm Every Woman, but it was hard to be sure. After someone obligingly strangled them -- no mean undertaking, given that some were as large as Volkswagens -- it took me a few moments to recall what I was doing, by which time several of the weasels were making a bid for freedom. I quickly rounded them up, retied the sack with an anchorbend hitch, and resumed my quest.

It was a chilly night for early autumn and, believe it or not, I'd dressed as an optimist; I was as shivery as the weasels when the breeze got up. Ah, whatever. When all else fails, I always have my self-righteousness to keep me warm. I turned onto Wardour Street and started counting doors.

Walking, I rehearsed my mental checklist: lockpicks -- check; one-sided razor blades -- check; (recreational) handcuffs (4 pairs) -- check; malt vinegar -- check; Kajagoogoo CD -- check.

Weasels -- check.

It was time for some serious suffering.

A-ha. And there they were, sandwiched -- somehow fittingly -- between a sex shop and an overpriced eaterie. Good: London's most successful viral marketers.

And there you were. Right on cue.

Hello, boys and girls, and welcome. I trust you have your Molotov cocktails ready?

Excellent.

Shall we begin?
Posted by matt at September 7, 2005 11:07 PM