August 22, 2006
Approach Vector
A canonical example of geek humour is the following, which I randomly re-encountered yesterday in a book on algorithms: Here's another one, less well-known but funnier, which serves as epigraph to the first chapter of K Borovkov's Elements of Stochastic Modelling:
An engineer and a mathematician went to the races one Saturday and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer said : "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strengths and mechanical advantages and figured out how fast they could run..."
At that moment the mathematician paid for his beer and the engineer got a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knew something about horses. The engineer demanded to know his secret.
"Well," said the mathematician, "first I assumed all of the horses were identical and spherical..."
This probably seems disproportionately hilarious to someone about to spend four years Modelling Biological Complexity. In the taxonomy of geekdom, I undoubtedly classify closer to the engineer than the mathematician, but -- as might be clear from assorted posts on this very blog -- I have a natural affinity for abstraction. Whether I have a corresponding aptitude remains to be seen.
I'll show you the life of the mind...!
I finish work -- abdicate my always ambivalent professional life -- in less than three weeks. It seems at one level like a miraculous release, but what follows fills me with absolute terror.
Who on Earth do I think I'm fooling?
Yes, I have more years of battlefield experience in more variations of my soi-disant profession than any of my fellow students are likely to be able to claim. I routinely deal with situations that would probably give them the screaming heebie-jeebies -- but so does any local council street sweeper. There's a difference between the tactical and logistical understanding that I might, in dim light and with a following wind, bring to the activity and any kind of scientific insight. I can usually see my way through practical design and implementation problems, but that doesn't mean I know anything, much less have the breadth of mathematical or biological understanding my barely post-pubescent peers will be bringing to CoMPLEX. I'm about to be the big, slow-witted fish in a small pond full of vicious fucking piranhas, with a sign saying "EAT ME" surreptitiously taped to my dorsal fin.
Going back to school is quite clearly the stupidest decision in a lifetime of stupid decisions. Starting at APT had its disturbing aspects -- mostly, it disturbed my sleep for the first couple of months -- but I never really doubted I could make it work. By contrast, this PhD malarkey scares the shit out of me.
By the same token, I can't wait.
Posted by matt at August 22, 2006 09:56 PM
Comments
I think I know a bit about how you feel. And I've just dug myself in deeper...
Posted by: flerdle at August 23, 2006 12:23 AM
But really of course you know how exciting it is. I'm hoping you will blog the experience extensively.
Posted by: Max at August 23, 2006 08:44 AM
I agree with Max. I hope you blog your experience extensively.
Your new peers will be like your old peers, Matt. In awe of you.
Good luck.
Posted by: Keith at August 24, 2006 02:53 PM
I suspect that your excitement outweighs your trepidation quite substantially ;)
Which is as it should be. You're going to love it, I'm sure.
Posted by: Sin at August 25, 2006 05:51 AM
I want to share the geekiest joke I ever made, but nobody who wasn't a Chomskian linguist would get it.
Oh, what the hell, here goes, just in case.
I came to syntax class one day having failed to turn in my homework the previous class. The professor asked what had happened, and I said, "Oh, I handed it in at LF."
The whole class, including the professor, burst into laughter.
Sigh.
Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at August 29, 2006 02:46 PM
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